stop thinking.

do you feel the speed in time lately?
do you feel old these days?

Lol.

i felt that way.

when i receive my result that i did so badly this round..
i felt so disappointed.. and just felt so numb.
and i ignores the feelings by working late each day.
i soon forgot about those.. until..
last week.

my family plan to move to a new place in nov 09.
(still in mlc..)
and mum is trying her best to decorate the house..
so.. it happened..

i was back in mlc last week..
she suggested to me that i should borrow the graduation robe from my frens..
to take a pic and frame it up in the hse..

logically.. its some kind of an advance graduation that she thinks..
but it somehow make me felt so sad..
and i'm feeling that until today..

what would graduation mean to me then?
i know that she expects me to graduate since last year.
but i still failed both last sem.
is it because im already working.. and things are just not the same anymore?
is it because i don't have the time?
is it too heavy for me to take both papers at the first place?
i did tried my best..
i thought i would only fail one..

i remembered shan talk about his sis on acca stuff.
i remembered few of my frens who are still stuck in acca until now.
will i be one of them?
everyone is taking two papers again this sem..
will they graduate?
will i be the last of the 16?
what do graduation mean to me anymore?

sigh.

3 mths back..
when da exam is around the corner..
3 girls make a promise..
"hey.. the 3 of us will grad this round.. we will take a pic together during the ceremony"
"yes!"
and today.. both of them passed.. but me.
arhhh.. i felt so sad for each time i thought of that.

but.. i think i'm thinking too much now..
i should just take life easily..
i've got a job.. god is treating me okay.

maybe i should think positively..
if i'm the last to grad..
maybe i can force all of my friends to be there for my graduation?
i can't think of any other positive thinking. Lol.

kor and sis gonna grad nx march..
that makes me the last..

sigh.

argG! enough.
i gotta go to bed now.