accepting..

think think think..
memories here and there.
and everywhere.

how to move on like that.

just went for a swim.
talked to myself. haha!
thought a lot a lot everyday..

everyday.. every hour.. i will think about it.
sob about it. regret about it.

u can say i've been living in the past. LoL.

well.. i feel better that way i guess.
somehow i feel that he did loved me that much before.
somehow i couldn't get it through my brain that ..
"how.. why.. how can he just forget these memories?"
when it is so important to me..
so precious to me..

he has changed.
the man i loved so dearly.. gone.

i hate him. i hate him. i hate him.
he told me to move on. he wants me to move on.
but there is only one thing i know from that..
is just a re-assurance that he dun love me anymore.

the love died. D-I-E-D.

and me.. the love is still living.
but.. for what?
i learn something that i need to make sure i achieve it.

i need to find myself.

has been 9 years? 10 years?
the only thing i've been doing is..
living for the another.. because their life is more dramatic..
because by making him happy.. i'm happy.

lost my confidence because i'm worried about losing him.
heed for rumours..
imagining pictures of cakes that i can never eat.

thank you b.
thank you for giving me this lesson.
i should remember but go.. and find myself.
until then.. maybe i will cherish my life more.

i've been thinking if someday we could get back together.
finding out that.. "hey i still love u".
but LoL.
that's me.. always full of dreams and craps.

sometimes.. i felt like.. shit.. i failed this paper.
nvm.. i can take again next sem. LoL.
which is why.. it makes me felt.. we can try again..
but stupid me.. when one fall out of love. that's it.

i need to remind myself to come back to reality.
i can live without loving a guy.
yes i can!

life is just too awesome.
i can't be so stubborn... and kiasu. Lol.

i remember that i have decided to move to singapore..
after the break up between me and him.
to leave this sad place.

but my friends.. i have such great bunch of friends here.
=)

well.. its just what life will bring me then. hehe.
what i know is.. i need to live my life now.
not his. not anybody's.

karen said.. the only thing that is permenant.. is changes.
yes. you are right babe.

whatever matters.. i just need to be happy.
............................................................................

yay! am i in the stage of accepting d?
i've passed denial stage. haha!

gambate... jia yu!!
............................................................................

can't u turn hoong.
u can't u turn. its a straight road.
life is all about the road u take.
don't give up.. don't give in.
life is too short.

just enjoy it..
......................................................................

to all my dear friends..
i don't know how many of u read my blog.
but what i wanna say is just.. thank you.
thank you for being there for me.
for looking out for me.
i love u guys.. seriously.
don't know how i could survive those days without u guys.