cry..

ytd was da day..
da day whr we finally meet and clear things up..
since laz thurs.. whr da issue arise..
all da fites..coldness..ignorance..and crying..
and ytd was da end.

i supposed it was da laz date dat i wil hav wif donkie.. as a couple..
we went to watch ah long pte..
and den makan..
whr we talk..

i realise..dere r lots dat i duno its happenin actually..
things dat were evolving actually..
probably evryone is rite.. wat doesnt change in dis world?
durin da long talk..
i felt hurt..sad..but a lil feelin better dat i actually can talk openly wif him..
and understan wat he feel..

it was reli difficult wen i feel da knife cuttin tru my heart..
i can feel da heart bleedin..
but i manage to use my brain to control myself..
i did feel lik cryin..but i didnt..
i tink i hav countless injuries now..
but i jus wan dem to be healed..
duno how long it wil take..but i wil try my best..

da end is.. my bby..my donkie decided to take a break wif me..
i guess he realise he need to be single..at least for now..

for me..
things hav nvr and will nv be easy..
aft 5 yrs bein wif him and oni him..
da one i hold my hands wif.. da one who gav me warm wen i was cold.. da one who i luv to hug.. da one i alwis kiss.. da one i alwis smell.. yea.. i luv his smell.. i called it "my donkie smell".. da one i alwis buwee..tickle and den got scolded.. whr we fite for da pillow.. da snore.. and da "snore no more".. da movie sessions.. da cars story-tellin session.. advices dat he will giv me.. da playful voice.. our act cute phone calls..

days will nv be da same again..

da one i will call weneva im bored..wen im free..
weneva i feel lik listenin to his voice..and giv me da boost to jus continue da day..

it will nv be da same again..

dis break.. probably a short one? or probably a permenant one?
i guess i nd to take it and face it..
few of my close frens talk to me..and gave me support..
and im reli glad to hav dem..
but evryone noes..sumwhr deep dere..dere is a cut..dat wil take time to recover..

im goin back mlc d tonite..til sunday..
class cancelled..
dere is a class on fri actually.. but im skippin..
hehe..

and bby..donkie.. i love u.. i alwis remember..